a house called awful end

i totally enjoyed myself today reading this VERY dry british childrens book.
excerpt from the second page:
They were in Eddie's parents' bedroom, which was very dark and dingy and had no furniture in it except for a large double bed, and even larger wardrobe, and thirty-two different types of chair designed to make you sit up straight even if your wrists were handcuffed to your ankles.
"Why are you sucking an ice cube shaped like a famous general?" Eddie asked his parents, who were propped up against piles of pillows in their impressively ugly double bed.
"Dr. Muffin says that it helps with the swelling," said his mother. In fact, because she had a famous-general-shaped ice cube in her mouth, what she actually said was "Dotter Muffin schez va it hewlpz wiva schwellin," but Eddie managed to translate.