i began this summer biking up my canyon every morning uphill into a stiff headwind. i would curse the wind and wonder everyday if i could make it to the top of the trail.
each day i would return. each day the wind was always blowing.
i have had so many lovely notes wondering how things are going, why my last blog post was the first of may. thank you for your thoughts and genuine kindness.
without knowing why i knew i needed to take some time to heal myself, to find a peace and stillness that was missing in my life, and to make a place for something new.
some days i would click on my blog and stare at my last post and wonder if i would find a place for it again, if i would feel the connection and desire to share again my journey. then i would walk away from the computer feeling sad and confused.
the floor of my studio piled up with things, dust gathered around and wispy cobwebs attached themselves to my glass glitter bottles in my window sill. i became afraid that maybe this part of my life was over, that i had let it dry up.
i didn't even really know why i was drifting...
i watched the flowers bloom alongside the canyon trail, the sun rise each morning, the colors change as the grasses dried in the heat, and watched the path of the sun as it traveled across the sky.
i learned to be still.
i feel like now a few months later i understand a bit more why i followed that voice inside that said make a little space.
i had to learn again how to lay in the fresh summer grass gazing up at the leaves fluttering in the wind, losing myself in the beauty of the trees. there have been too many voices in my head. i had to be still until they all went away.
i had to learn again how to look and see the people around me. not as they are when they are simply passing by with their voices trailing behind them but as they appear before my eyes, glowing with life and dreams, and sometimes aching and broken.
i had to learn again how to care for myself so i had something to give. i needed to heal my own aching heart so i could feel brave enough to share it.
today i headed up the canyon for an early ride. the wind was blowing. i felt it gust against my bike and blow across my face. as i came to the first long climb i realized i was smiling as i cranked the pedals. i called out loud to the wind 'do your worst' and then pedaled on to the top.
these are a few photos of the book 'Living Praise' i created after my husband's father died just before Christmas. it was published in the first issue of Art Quilting Studio this summer. it is one of my favorite pieces of work and i am so happy i had the opportunity to share it.
the folded linen pages were sewn to a wool felt backing that i glued to the inside of the book.
self adhesive book binding tape being applied to strengthen the spine.
spreading tacky glue to the book binding tape just before pressing in the wool felt backing.
(photos 4 and 5 are from Art Quilting Studio)
the song 'little pieces' by gomez